Author D.Irving, Word Count 1,235
Featured in Spooky Archaeological Story Moot: Live Stream – 2025
Alex returned to the site a couple of weeks early, things had changed over the winter
and he would no longer be running it on his own or digging, the last chafed more than
the first because as Site Director he was being paid more. Despite the Rhybudd Tywydd (Weather Warning) he was in a buoyant mood, apart from the druids poking around there had been no reports
of detectorists or others seeking to damage the site, local interest was still high and the
site was well watched. The last section of the climb was quite steep and would need
improving before work really got started, another chunk of the budget gone, although
given a decent chain saw and a few trees he’d do it himself, health and safety be
damned. Coming to the gate he unlocked the well oiled lock and let the chain fall, the
loud metallic rattling spooked a group of druids who scuttled off into the mist, one,
braver than the others lurked behind a large boulder just up the hill. His tattered grey
robe made it hard to see him clearly but as he faded in and out of visibility Alex began to
have a bad feeling, oh no he thought, not again.
Alex looked around for somewhere to sit, selecting a square-ish rock he sat, popped up
his umbrella and waited, he was on his second cup of coffee when the man finally came
down the hill. Alex had, from time to time, waved at him, shouted at him to ‘come on
down’ in his best impersonation of Cilla Black even offered him coffee but it was the
lemon drizzle cake that did the trick.
Alex: You’re dead aren’t you?
The approaching figure stopped suddenly the surprise causing him to freeze for a
moment, as he did Alex threw a pebble through his head.
Llllll: That’ll be giving me a proper bwch in the head, it will, you was offering me
cake, mun, then starting to chuck rocks at me, you bleddy git
Alex: So dead then, have you lost a tooth by any chance? I’m quite good at
teeth.
Lllll: Teeth, what in the name of Dewi Sant are you on about, butt? Get your act
together and give me a slice of that lovely cake before I go completely barmy, I’m telling
you!
Alex: Do you want to go to the pub? Little Flower did.
Lllll paused mouth open, snapping it shut a curious look took over his face, finger
tapping on his chin he looked Alex up and down finally he spoke
Lllll: How often’s you be chatting wi’r meirw, then? Them fellas in their ghostie-
white sheets didn’t even give me a glance, mun, yet you’re just there, nattering away
like tidy’s all.
Alex: It’s not something I make a habit of, you’re a Druid aren’t you.
Alex actually felt the blow, a cold dank sensation passed through his jaw leaving an aftertaste of leaf mould.
Lllllll: How dare you now mun! First, you’re pelting stones at my gweld head,
giving me the mother of all migraines, then you’re calling names like ‘Druid’, ‘Druid’
mind! Do I look like a bleddy druid to you, is it?
Alex: Well yes, tatty white robe, sandals, long hair, staff with a knobbly top,
gutting knife, have you got a sword from centuries after you died hiding somewhere?
Alex managed to dodge the second blow.
“Lemon drizzle cake?” He offered brightly.
They watched each other over the crumbs, the rain, now a proper glaw tinwyn Abertawe (Swansea ‘white-tailed rain’/ torrential rain), began to fill Alex’s mug, mindful that it was the last of his coffee Alex rummaged in his bag for a moment before producing a small pink cocktail umbrella,
which with a sense of pride he placed over his mug.
Alex: So not a druid then, would you mind telling me what you are or were?
Llllll Dreaming I was, aye, proper dreaming, ’til you lot showed up, bach! Do
you have any idea the racket 83 wailing spirits can make, never mind the thousands of
critters bach?
Alex: Screaming souls? Why would there be screaming souls?
Lllllll: You’ve been rooting around in folk, mun, and then you’re wondering why
they’re letting out a proper wail, is it?
Alex: Errrrrrrr…… there are no burials, not a single tooth or bone was found
Llllll: Ere now, you ever heard tell of cremation then? A grand old bonfire, tidy,
like?
Alex looked over at he spoil heap, he felt sick.
Alex: 83 you say, did you know any of them?
Llllll looked thoughtful and began counting silently
Llllll: Mostly proper lush folks, they were, trying to be farmers mainly, aye.
Alex: I don’t suppose you know who built the circle originally
Lllllll: Aliens, boyo, ’twas aliens, landing here in ships as big as yr widdfa new
religion this, new that like, but fair play, it all came out tidy in the end”
Alex: Oh, right, aliens, that’ll go down well.
Llllll: Right, so like I was just saying, I was proper zzz’d, been a few years now
like, butt still ‘aven’t got all the crinks ironed out, some bits o’ me are really startin’ to ‘av
a right old moan, mun.
A rumble of thunder bounced around the hills, Alex would have to check but he thought
the rain was definitely stido or possibly piso.
Alex: Getting a bit damp up here
Llllll: Is it, aye? Haven’t twigged it, mind, ta be honest, mun.
Alex became aware of a tingling sensation, Llllllll was beginning to glow
Alex: I can taste………tin? Are you alri
Lightening ripped the sky apart and for the briefest instant he was blind and deaf, Llllll
on the other was standing tall, soaked to the skin and smoking slightly.
Lllll: Blimey, I haven’t felt this lush since those fancy Italian jobbies showed up,
mun.
Alex: So your 2 thousand years old
Llllll: O, I’m a tidy bit older than that, mun, when I first did come to these parts,
aye.
The rest of the sentence was lost as another bolt of lightning struck a tree a few
hundred metres away, faint screams suggested the druids had been sheltering under it.
Ceeeeeeeeeeerrrrrraaaaaaaaacckkkkaabang, lightning hit the recumbent leaving it
steaming.
Alex: “ “ he said
When he woke up he was lying on his back, head ringing and clothes steaming slightly,
Llllllll was bent over him with a worried look on his soot blackened face, part of his
beard, all his nose hairs and one eyebrow were gone, yet he was smiling, true it was a
slightly maniacal smile but a smile none the less.
Lllllll: “ “
Alex I can’t here you
Llllll: “ , !”
Alex: No not a thing
Llllll: “ ‘t ill air off oon, ‘ont curry, inch your hose and knees at’ll ooo th ob. Summon I’ll elp hue up”
Alex was surprised by Llllllll’s strength, for a stringy old man he had lifted him with ease,
head still spinning he tried to focus on Llllll’s words something about bed and home, that
sounded nice. Soft darkness enveloped him.
Alex awoke in a bed, it was fresh, warm, pink, smelled strongly of roses and slightly of
TCP, he rolled onto his side and the mattress swallowed him. It wasn’t his bed and he
was naked, part of his brain was shouting something about panicking but his body
refused to react.
Landlady: “Cooey Mr Alex”
His nightmare began.
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